Really not much going on in the life and times of the Wagstaff Family. I have been in rehearsal many hours of the day and catching up on some reading. I just finished Ender's Game and thought it was brilliant.
Our little Ruby has been visiting the Call family in Burley, Idaho since last Wednesday and I MISS HER! I realized that I have not been away from her for more than a few days at a time and I am ready for her to COME HOME!
I had the nicest surprise (again)! My nephew Jason and his cute family came to visit for a few hours the other night. Jason made me a bird house! I LOVE LOVE LOVE it! He and Kim have the sweetest children in the world. They are so loving and kind. It always does my heart good to hug the guts our of their kids. (I am positive that they are relieved when the Aunt Edye hugs are over.)
I will post some pictures of the bird house soon... it is so cool!
Vosco. I have been mourning my family unit today. I got to see Vos for 30 minutes yesterday and it warmed my heart. Every time I leave him I leave a chunk of my heart there with him.
On Friday he will be taken to "Alliance for Youth" in American Fork, Utah. If he is successful in their program, the fastest he can go through is about 11 months. After that, he will go somewhere like a "Proctor Home" for an unspecified amount of time. After that, he will go to a community placement (like family or friend) before he is allowed back in the home. He may not come home again until after he is 18. Even then, he may not be allowed home.... I don't know what the judge will order.
I guess I am feeling like we didn't do enough. We haven't traveled as a family at all. We haven't gone to Disneyland. We haven't been on a family trip since Ruby was born. Now, we never will. Lord knows we have spent every last resource to get help for our boy, but that left nothing for 'fun'. What memories with they have? What stories will they tell their children? Will any of them be good? I don't know how to answer that.
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5 comments:
Sorry, I published a comment, but deleted it, cause I misspelled something, so here it is again...
I find that some of my best memories are of just being together. Putting puzzles together, watching movies together, having fondue on New Year's. Those are the thing that I miss the most.
Try not to berate yourself with "What if's" and "If only's"...I have wasted a lot of time on that and it has done me no good. Just enjoy the time that you get to have with him, and even if he doesn't come home til after he is 18, go to Disneyland then!! There is no rule that Disneyland is just for kids. I am living proof of that!
You have done all you can, and you need to allow yourself to know that. I used to have issues with the whole, "The Lord will not give you more than you can handle" thing, because I have been given things that I KNOW I can not handle. But the I realized that one word was missing from that phrase..."The Lord will not give you more than you can handle ALONE." That is where friends and family comes in. Use them! :)
Oh and, I LOVE ENDER'S GAME! My favorite book of ALL TIME! And the best part is, there are more of them! Great series!
Edye;
I agree with what Chelsea has said, Vosco will remember the times you giggled with you, he will remeber that you did everything you could for him; he will remember that you are standing with him now; he will remember that you taught him to be respnsible for his actions.
The idea that you didn't do enough "fun things" ?? Unless you have become a completely different person since high school I find that hard to believe.
I am so glad hear that Vosco is moving into a good place. This is his journey, focus on how you can support him today - the rest doesn't matter.
I think of you often!
Tammy
Disney Land is over rated!! If you ask my kids they will tell you they remember standing in liiiine and fighting with their siblings on the loooong drive - oh yeah and then there was Mickey... way down the line.
Vosco will remember your hugs and your unconditional love even when he did the most outrageous things. You never held grudges very long, after the initial reaction.
He was exposed to music and was introduced to theater the way few kids are (mine thought it was the best when you invited them for dress rehearsal for one show). If he needed something, it was a done deal. His friends were always welcome. Then there were all the loving fuzzy animals that are part of your family, the "pool" in the back yard and... I think I'll stop here, you get the message.
Vosco is one lucky kid to have you and Reed for parents. Your were beside him every step of the way and you are still behind him, even if he can't live with you now.
I think you are an awesome mother
Edye
We love you thanks for the letting us come and visit. You are a great example and don't be so hard on yourself. You have done many great things with your kids. I agree with the comment Disneyland is over rated. It is the little things that matter most and Vosco and Ruby will treasure those. They have been exposed to so much good because of you and Reed. The Lord knows what's in your heart and sees all the good you do. Not every thing comes out perfect and none of us can say we did everything just right as parents but we are all trying and that's what matters. That which we can't do will be made up for in the end. I love the first comment " the Lord will not give you more than you can handle ALONE." There are very few people as giving and loving as you and Reed. Please know that we Love you and are here for you.
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