It has been a very long time since I have added anything of substance to our blog.  Ya know, when so many things are hard and overwhelming it is difficult to share those times even with the people you trust and love.  You don't want to burden anyone with your issues and all that.  Well?  I have decided that I need to find a healthy outlet for my good times, my bad times and my so-so times. 

In September we went to court with Vosco.  It was decided that he would be transferred to another facility down in Cedar City, UT.  According to his judge this is his "last chance" or he will be ordered to secure confinement until he is 21.  He turned 17 on 25 September.  Four years.  Loooong time. 

We weren't happy with his old placement and felt that he was stagnating at best and digressing at worst.  We all were ready for a change.  We weren't thrilled with him being 4 hours away but if it was going to help we decided it would  be GRAND! 

Today we went to visit him for the first time since his placement.  Wow.  What a difference!  The facility is amazing.  The staff is very professional and they seem to really care for the boys in their care.  We met with his therapist for about an hour.  I really appreciate the way this therapist works.  He is blunt.  He is tuned into Vosco and his strengths and his weaknesses.  He is able to help Vosco see areas that need improvement in a way that doesn't belittle or berate him.

I think it was really good for the therapist to see us and get a feel for how we view our son.  He seemed truly impressed that we have no delusions where Vosco is concerned.  We want the best for him, we love him absolutely, we support him but we do not make excuses for his choices or behaviour.  We have always called him on his crap and called a spade a spade.  We were able to discuss his treatment goals and a realistic approach to helping him achieve those goals.  It felt SO good to work with a therapist that is GOOD at his job!

Vosco has court on January 9th and for the first time in months I feel confident that the judge will allow him to stay in the program because of his progress.  (Big cheer here is totally acceptable!!!!!)

After our therapy session we spent about three hours with Vos just playing games, hanging out and laughing!  It was wonderful.  I didn't realize the horrible stress I have been carrying until we were on our way home and I felt the release of that stress.  It is so nice to have hope again.

We know that the road ahead for Vos is a difficult one but it doesn't seem insurmountable anymore.  Our expectation is that Vosco will graduate from this program and transition into a community placement where he can  have some practical life experiences that his current placement won't allow.  We have accepted the fact that he will very likely never go to college and will need to find employment in a highly supervised environment.  He may be able to go through a trade school and that is wonderful.  He has always wanted to be a "Car Guy" and find a job that would fit that bill.  Of course, we will do whatever we can to help him get whatever education and training he needs to find success - it is just a different definition of success than we had as new, naive and idealistic parents.  Sometimes reality bites!

I am grateful for a loving family that stands beside me through thick and thin.  I have the best brothers and sisters in the universe.  Even amidst their own worries they find time to check in and do whatever they can to help us.  I don't know what I would do without them. 

That's all for now.  I will write more about things like Choir Tour last summer at a later date.