So much to catch up!

Well.... Hello!

Have you EVER known someone who updates their blog less than I? I kinda don't think so.

Nauvoo.

Three weeks ago Ruby, Reed and I went to Nauvoo, IL for my speaking engagement at their Women's Retreat. None of us had ever been there. Honestly, we had no idea what awaited us.

It all started with two flights from SLC to Denver to St. Louis. Ruby had never been on a plane before. (well, she had when she was 9 days old but that doesn't count.) I was so excited to see her response during all phases of the flight. She had a window seat on every leg of the trip. Turns out, she hates the window seat. It makes her tummy upset. Still, it was fun to watch her and hear her perspective on the whole experience.

How many of us remember our own childhood trips with family? We would bring a book or two, play games with each other or use those many hours on the road as nap time. It always seemed fun to me. Ruby had her ipod and a DVD player as well as a toy and a few books. You have never seen anyone more bored than that child. Her batteries died on the electronic equipment during the layover in Denver. You would think we had told her she needed to have her teeth pulled without any anesthetic. WOW! Finally, she got a grip and tried to look at the whole experience with fresh eyes.

When we got to St. Louis we went straight to the car rental place. They upgraded us to a big car. A Crown Vic. I must be getting old because I REALLY liked the car. It was HUGE. It was BLACK and I felt like a member of the Mafia. Suddenly I wanted to speak in a strong NY dialect and make idle threats to everyone I saw.... but didn't. :-)

It is a 3 hour drive from St. Louis to Nauvoo. It was still afternoon so we could see the beautiful landscapes during our journey. I am 44 years old and had never seen the Mississippi River. OH. MY. GOODNESS! It was amazing to me. HUGE! Made me wonder how it ever froze over so the pioneer's could cross it safely. I am still trying to picture that.

There are no mountains in this part of the country. Rolling hills and vast vistas are the rule there. Because it was still early in the Spring everything was pretty brown and barren. It was simple to imagine how very different it would look when crops were planted and trees were in full bloom and the thought was breathtaking. I would love to see it at that time.

By the time we got to the Nauvoo Villa's where we were staying it was just dark. Even though I had seen the website for this property I was utterly shocked at how wonderful it was! We walked in the front door and a small house opened up to me. Living room that opens into the dining room (seats 8) and a very well appointed kitchen with every dish, utensil and cooking item you would ever need. There was even a washer and dryer! SHEESH! Then there were the two bedrooms. Both had a king sized bed. One had an additional twin bed. Each bedroom had its own bathroom. It was nicer than many starter homes I have seen. We felt like we were completely spoiled!

The next day we spent the time looking and learning about this spirit-rich part of the country. We looked up some information about some of our ancestors. Honestly, I had no idea I had so much familial history there. We went to the Land Use office and were given a map of the area with the parcels of land owned/rented by our ancestors. It was so much fun to find these parcels of land and take pictures. You can actually feel their presence. Their sacrifices. Our blessings.

I had the unique opportunity to speak to some 150 women at the beginning of this Women's Retreat. Being first is a wonderful position. You don't have to worry that what you have prepared is a repeat of someone else! You can just go in there with a prayer and trust that the Lord will prepare the way. He did.

I spoke of my family. The one grew up in and the little family I have as my own. I spoke of trials. I spoke of the countless tender mercies extended to us each and every day.

I met women from all walks of life. Brave women who have weathered their trials with spiritual dignity and depth. I was able to bask in their light and experience as we shared private conversation that expressed our unique love from our Father in Heaven. He truly loves us all with perfect love.

Reed, Ruby and I came home with so much more respect for our ancestors and their trials than we had before. We were able to experience some parts of their lives as they lived them. Making Rope from plants. Dying wool from whatever resources they had in the area. Flowers, plants, insects. I looked at their work in utter awe.

We were able to see the Smith Family Cemetery. To stand on this sacred ground and feel the presence of those brave people was an experience I shall never forget. To see, along the banks of the Mississippi River, the loss of life these families endured with honor was remarkable. Truly sacred ground.

We were amazed to walk through Brigham Young's house. To see his handiwork in every part of that home was astounding. The attention to beautiful detail was everywhere.

We went to Carthage. I stood in the room where Hyrum and Joseph Smith were martyred. I saw the hole in the door made by the shot that killed Hyrum on impact. I stood at the window Joseph Smith was thrown through because of the shots fired. The weight of that martyrdom still hangs inside those walls.

Our trip to Nauvoo was something we will cherish forever. I will never be able to adequately express the lessons learned there. We have been asked to return as guest speakers again next year. I am counting the days until we experience more of that sacred place.

Plea for Prayer

Hi Everyone.

The last few days have been interesting. I am going to ask you to invoke your faith in my son's behalf.

Normally, I don't answer my cell phone on the weekend. As I went to plug it in to charge I noticed I had missed a call from Vosco's therapist today. (For some reason, he didn't try to call on the land line.) I listened to the lengthy message and I am very concerned.

Vosco's state case worker, Lora is thinking about pulling Vosco from this home and putting him somewhere else. I guess the fact that I have brought up the medication issue has opened the floodgates on things that weren't done appropriately. Reports not being filed, chain of communication falling apart etc.

For months we have been telling the staff that if they would just make sure that he got his night time meds no later than 7:30PM his mornings would go much more smoothly. This little tidbit hasn't translated well and now they are acting like it is the first they have heard that his meds should be given well before 9PM.

Reed and I are having a difficult time maintaining patience. We feel like the last few months may have been a wash because of the medication issues. Our son is a diagnosed Bi-Polar and these folks don't seem to think that his meds (or lack thereof) should affect his behavior at all.

I don't think that there has been even one family session where I haven't voiced my concern over his medication. He hasn't had blood tests to test levels ONCE since he left our home in April. Some of his medications MUST be tested at least once every other month to make sure he is at therapeutic levels AND that they aren't too high. If the levels are too high it can cause permanent damage to his nervous system and can cause tremors in his arms, hands and legs.

The last two times we have seen him I have mentioned my concern because his hands are so shaky he can barely hold a drink without spilling. I was reassured that they had everything under control.

Obviously THEY DO NOT!

I know I have rambled on and on with no real direction in my thoughts and I apologize. I just had to get some of this out of my head and release some of the stress I have been feeling lately.

Please, please pray for our little boy. In all honesty, before the abuse was discovered, I had NO complaints about his behavior - he was a normal 14 year old boy. I want that boy back. I want him to find healing. I want him to be helped in his road to recovery, not hindered. He needs our faith and prayers. He needs us to remember him ALWAYS. Please help us.

Has it been a long time, or what?

Wow, it has been nearly forever since I have added anything to our blog.

Life in the Wagstaff household is progressing and even extremely humorous at times! We are preparing to go to Nauvoo in March. After much thought and prayer, we decided it best if we take Ruby with us to Nauvoo. We feel like it is a good opportunity to share the wonderful history of our church with our little girl. It will be especially fun because NONE of us have ever been there and are eager to experience the spiritual feast that awaits us!

Our Holiday Season was fun. We just hung out at home for the most part. We had a wonderful visit with Vosco on Christmas Eve. We made little gift packages for each of the boys in the home so nobody would feel left out. It was very basic stuff, but they were genuinely appreciative of the gift.

Vosco is struggling a great deal. I would ask this: If you pray, please exercise your faith in his behalf. He is in need of much love, support and encouragement. He is feeling rather mired down and his ability to progress is seriously hampered by his depression.

This is truly Vosco's last chance. He either progresses in this program or he is placed in a lock-down facility where he will stay until he ages out of the system. Although they are supposed to get "therapy" while in a lock-down facility, they really don't. I would ask you to be specific in your prayers. Help him to desire to comply with rules. Help him to know his Saviour and live worthy of the Holy Ghost. Help him to see the benefits of obedience and that he will grow stronger if he just follows the rules.

I don't want to blame anything for his behavior or choices, but they have taken him off of ALL of his Bi-Polar medications, stating that they make him tired. He NEEDS to be properly medicated. Please pray that they will do what is right for him and his chemistry.

We don't have any decision making power in his treatment because he is technically in the custody of the state.

In other areas, our life is good. Lots of opportunities for growth, for sure! It has been decided that they will not have a "Musical Director" for the Old Lyric Repertory Company this year. (This would have been my 18th year with them) So, I am unemployed for the Summer. Ruby may hate me before this Summer is over! :0)

I have a heart filled with gratitude though. The minute I knew I would be unemployed for the Summer I prayed for more students so I could make up some of the financial loss. Each week I pick up another student or two, so I think we should be OK! Isn't that wonderful?

Reed had the opportunity to work the Mormon Tabernacle Choir Christmas Concert this year. He was Mr. David McCullough's personal stage manager! Woot Woo! It was truly a blessing for Reed to be so closely associated with him during that week. Reed has a cherished new friend!

Ruby is loving her teacher at school so much. She insists that Mrs. Crittenden is the best teacher EVER!!! I am pretty certain she is right. We love Mrs. C! Ruby has also started taking piano lessons. She is in tumbling, too. We are amazed at her limber body! She can practically fold in half backwards! She is so gifted in the whole sports arena. Both Reed and I have no idea what that would feel like! We just watch her in utter awe.

I hope this little missive finds you all well and happy! We love and appreciate ALL OF YOU!