I had the sweetest surprise this morning. My niece, Kelsey came in to see Music and the Spoken Word! Since I was in rehearsal in Logan on Thursday I wasn't able to perform today so we sat together!

Now, I know I have been missing my family A LOT. I can't explain how good it felt to see her, hug her and giggle with her. I have missed her so much more than I even realized! I definitely need to GO HOME and see my siblings and their kids.

Kelsey, thank you for coming to SLC. I know it was an extremely early morning. Thanks for choosing to share it with your old Aunt Edye.

I love you!

You're a Good Man Charlie Brown!

Here are the dates for my show:

June 17, 18, 19, 25, 27th (27th M&E)
July 18th M&E, 21, 31

Performances will be in the Caine Lyric Theatre, 28 West Center Street in Logan, UT For tickets, call 435-797-8022

Please come and giggle with us!

There is light.....

Well, we have been told 'unofficially' that Vosco will be going into a group home in American Fork, UT. I don't know when that will happen, but very likely in the next few days.

The director of this home came and interviewed Vosco on Friday. Vosco said he felt very comfortable with this gentleman and that he felt like this would be a good place.

When his caseworker called me she asked if we would be wanting to take part in the therapy for Vosco. I said, "Of course! He is our son! We will do whatever it takes to help him through this!" Her response, "Oh, well, that's great. The vast majority of parents don't want to do that, so I guess I will need to keep him closer to home."

WHAT?!?!?!?

The parental units don't want to participate in FAMILY THERAPY?!?!? Whatever.

Thank you so much for your love and support. I will keep you posted as things develop.

Any of you who really know me, know that when life gets difficult, I do a show. I know, working in theatre can be stressful in an of itself. However, it is a stress I can actually CONTROL! I run the rehearsals (musically, anyway) and when in rehearsal I am like a man - SINGLE MINDED!!! NOTHING enters my mind during the rehearsal hours except the show.

Well??? My production of Seussical the Musical opens on Monday. Whew! I started rehearsing You're a Good Man, Charlie Brown last week for the Old Lyric Repertory Company. Thus, I am adequately 'distracted.'

There are a few things that seep through the rehearsal barrier. One such thing happened today.

During my 25 minute break at school I often go into the office because I find the office personnel rather comical. Four of these ladies have sons who are either about to leave or have very recently left to serve a mission for the LDS Church. It has been fun for me to watch them get ready to send their 'little boys' off into the mission-field. None of these ladies have served a mission so they really don't know what is in store for those boys, but they are nervous and scared for them.

Today, their conversation revolved around how hard it is for them right now. They just don't know how they are going to survive without their boys. They complained about how difficult it was to see them go into the MTC. They mourned the fact that they couldn't go farther than security in the airport when their little boys left for their areas of service. They were so SAAAAAD because of all of the above.

Frankly, I wanted to slap them. Do you have any idea how thrilled I would be to be able to send my child on a mission?!?!?

Court yesterday was difficult. Although we don't know exactly where Vosco will end up, these things we do know. 1) We have no more decision making power in the life of our 14 year old son. 2) It may be YEARS before the four of us can EVER do anything together again. 3) We will have limited (if any) moral influence on our son during his remaining juvenile years. 4) We may NEVER live together as a family again. 5) Although we have no decision making power in our son's life we still get the distinct pleasure of paying the state 'child support' until he is out of their custody.

I do not tell you this so you can "feel sorry for me" or for any other silly reason like that. Our life is what it is. We will do everything in our power to make sure our Vosco gets EVERYTHING he needs to succeed in this life. Ultimately, the success or failure of his treatment lies in his hands, but we will never stop doing what we can.

All I ask is this: PLEASE be grateful for the gifts you are given. These families who have missionaries out will see blessings in their lives FOR THE REST OF THEIR LIVES! I have been off my mission for over 22 years and I STILL see blessings from my service.

Sometimes blessings have some discomfort associated with them. In the midst of the trials we have faced we have seen an abundance of blessings and our faith has increased. I wish I didn't have to go through this trial... but I am grateful to take it head on and fight with all of my might.

Just be grateful and don't whine!

Vosco goes to court Tuesday morning. Please keep us all in your prayers.

Little Keean arrives 14 weeks early....

My very sweet nephew, Travis and his wife, Amy had their baby make a surprise entrance on May 2nd. He weighed only 2lb. 4oz. Please include them in your prayers. He has a long road ahead of him before he can come home to his big sister, Paige!

Talk about Rollercoasters.....

By now, most of you have heard the news. Vosco is not in our home anymore. It is very likely that it will be about two years before he will be back.

Reed and I accompanied him to court this morning. Vosco took responsibility for his actions and plead guilty to the charge against him. It was a very difficult day.

I have found that it doesn't matter how many crime dramas you watch on TV, you have NO IDEA what the justice system is like until you experience it firsthand. Reed and I were instructed that we were to sit on either side of Vosco in the courtroom. Also, we were told we cannot touch him in any way while he is in custody.

I walked into the room first. I saw my boy turn and look at me with the most sullen expression on his face. Then I saw them.... shackles. He had handcuffs on with a chain that went down to join another chain that was attached to ankle cuffs. I was not expecting this.... I never know what to expect anymore.

I kept it together for the hearing. I had to consciously hold my hands together so I wouldn't accidentally touch him. I just wanted to hug him and let him know that we love him and that it will all be OK in time. Not today.

As Reed and I left the courtroom the ability to breathe left me... I started to hyperventilate and the tears.... oh boy! Those tears just flew out of my eyes. I completely fell apart! Some people needed to talk to us and we needed to get some paperwork so I had to get it together.

Then I got in the car. I don't think I have cried this hard since I lost my parents! The pain is very real, and you can actually feel the fissures expand in your heart. Finally, I understand the term "gut-wrenching." I would not recommend it for anyone.

As soon as I got in the car I was on the phone to my sister, Linda. I drove right to her house and just let it all out. I am so grateful for sisters.

Even amidst the confusion, pain and utter helplessness, there are small, tender mercies from my Father. He sneaks relief into my heart just as I am certain it will break beyond repair. The fissures close a bit and it makes it possible to find a little hope the next time my heart is rent wide.

Our baby, Ruby started therapy last Thursday. She really likes her therapist and I am confident that we have made a good choice there.

I pray we can be the parents BOTH of our children need. I can't begin to imagine how hard it was for my Father in Heaven to let us go... knowing the mistakes we would make. I can't imagine the pain that I have inflicted on my Savior.

It's funny, how help comes. A friend of mine asked me to help her daughter get ready for an audition and I was thrilled to do so. I made it clear that I was doing this for FUN - not money. Yet, the other day she handed me a thank you gift and a check for $140. That will come in so handy with the many bills and charges being incurred right now.

Once again, we have been reminded of the importance of a full tithe. Somehow, we are going to make it through this. Financially, physically, mentally and mostly Spiritually.

Thank you for not abandoning me.